also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
