I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
there was a trapeze. enough said
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
