He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We need to get me chipped asap
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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