You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
