its not stalking. its research.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
