he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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