Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
