Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You don't make any sense
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