True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
