It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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