well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
