if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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