i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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