dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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