It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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