That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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