How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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