Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
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