I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
