she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Randomize
