he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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