sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
