tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
