i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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