Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he thought i was a dude.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
