U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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