it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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