Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
