her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
