So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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