Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
