Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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