i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize