You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
