She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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