I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
