we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
