The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
