Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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