This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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