When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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