Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
