On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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