She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
