Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
