Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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