It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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