I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
