At least make sure they are 18
Why
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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