Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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