I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
