I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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