oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
be right there i have to get my cape
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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