"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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