Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
