When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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