You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
