All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
