New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
