i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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