Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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