Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we're making bets on your personal life
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
