i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
