Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
