Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
