im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
