My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
